"I Can See Tourists From My House."

The metropolis of Juneau is simply filled with let's call them "odd" people. Most of these people are not only weird, but they seem exceptionally lacking in the "ability to hold a normal conversation" department. One such happening occurred recently.
A friend, Sally, and I were headed downtown. Sally had tendinitis in her ankle. Because of this, she was wearing a tennis shoe on her good foot, but a flip flop on her hurt foot. I know, I know...maybe we're the weird ones.
We took a shortcut (because we're the cool type of people who know shortcuts!) that lead us past the Governor's Mansion. In Lou of recent events (*cough, cough: Sarah Palin's resignation), and not so recent events (*cough, cough....take a minute and think about the election!), I wanted a picture in front of the Mansion with my thumbs down. It would have been a giant step....for both me AND mankind, seeing as how I’ve always displayed a thumbs up in any picture I’ve ever taken. Annnnnyway, I struck a pose in the front lawn, looking dutifully forlorn, as a woman began to approach us. I should use this space to label Sally as the distract-able type. She was on the phone AND manning the camera, so needless to say, she was already in over her head. This woman kept coming. She started to ask Sally if we've ever been allowed IN the mansion. She was very serious, telling us she was miffed because the governor had invited her for tea, but she didn't know how to enter. She wanted to know if there was another door and if we had ever been through it. My friend, who, once again, was way out of her league distraction-wise, smiled and nodded "yes." (You see, she was thinking of her tour of the CAPITAL BUILDING, failing to realize we were in front of the Governor's Masion.)I simply shrugged and smiled. The woman kept asking us HOW we got a tour of the place and where she could get in. Sally stopped trying to take the picture of me and turned to The Woman, not yet understanding that she and The Woman, were speaking of two different buildings. "Oh, we...it was a weird thing, just wondered in." The Woman became intrigued.
"Hmm so I am I to believe you guys got a 'special' tour of some type?" Sally was just then ending her phone conversation and, being a little less distracted, wanted to help The Woman understand (though she failed miserably).
"Yeah, kind of special." She responded. Sally then paused, unsure of what exactly The Woman was looking for, and offered an odd explanation. "We're mushing guides...on the glacier." The Woman was now baffled....and still annoyed. She zeroed in on our tan lines.
"Oh, so that's why you've been in the sun for so long?" I laughed, slowing backing Sally and I away from the odd stranger. "Haha Yep, the weather has been great."
Sally jumped in, too. "Yeah, the weather this summer is 100 times better than last year. I'm sure it's helping you to enjoy your cruise." Sally, always the nice girl, offered a stunning smile, which usually works with tourists. The Woman had an immediate pessimistic response.
"You mean you came back two years in a row? And the weather is better? That's odd because everything is getting worse in the rest of the world." Sally and I exchanged sideways glances. What in the world had we gotten ourselves into? This woman was a damn emo grandmother. We started to walk away. Emo Grandma noticed Sally's odd footwear. "Ah what's that?" Sally glanced down and we laughed. Emo Grandma, somehow, immediately assumed the worst. "So it looks like you hurt your foot?" Sally smiled and shrugged.
"Yeah, a little I guess. Haha but this seems to help." For any remotely normal person who is even remotely capable of holding a remotely normal conversation, Sally's response would have been seen as a joke and the odd encounter would have ended. What was Emo Grandma's retort? She cringed and shrugged. Sally and I were beyond confused.
Emo Grandma then exhaled and sputtered, "Well, at least you can still walk." I busted into laughter and grabbed Sally's arm.
"Ha! Yes. Thank you." As I rolled my eyes, I wondered if I my confused thoughts betrayed my face...and my only thought was,‘What the hell?!’ Sally was still just as baffled. She simply looked at me and then to Emo Grandma, utterly confused and taken aback.
She managed, "Uhhhh..." And then Emo Grandma seemed to be done with the conversation—if one could call it that. Once again, a typical on the street goodbye would be, "Alright, well hey it was great meeting you," or something of the type.
Emo Granny merely smiled, waved and said, “Well, have a great night, girls. Maybe I’ll come for tea another time.”
Sally and I all but tripped over each other to get the hell away from Sarah Palin’s House of Crack Heads. I mean, seriously? What the hell kind of person can say that many crazy things in the span of a five minute conversation? Does…does that even happen? What?



(And this highlight goes out to the Mozilla Firefox Gods. Yes, they are GODS. Even I am comfortable deeming them Gods. During the writing of this, something went haywire. My computer restarted itself and installed its own updates [pushy bastard!] and much panic ensued. However, thanks to Firefox, when the computer turned back on, I was calmly asked if I would like to “restart previous Firefox session” because it “ended abruptly.” The page re-opened itself, fixed me coffee, and began vacuuming he apartment. All words were accounted for. Amen, amen, AMEN. )